Oh for three more inches!

Have you done any back to work shopping? I’ve noticed that within shops, ever since the schools broke up in July there has been ‘Back to School’ signs encouraging those early purchases of stationery, clothes and sensible, yet durable, shoes. Although I rarely actually purchases stationery nowadays I do find that I need to buy new work shirts, shoes and work trousers and, it is when I try to buy the latter that I have a slight problem and always wish I had a few more inches – what were you thinking this blog was about?


I’m not the shortest person around – at 5’9″ and standing tall I’m not tiny. I am, however, quite an odd shape though – well not actually an odd shape, more strange proportions. I tend to have a really long body and then short, stumpy legs. I don’t get people stopping me in the street commenting or sniggering at them, but I do feel like I would benefit with three more inches on my legs in order to come in at 6′. According to the internet – the actual average height of males in the UK is 5’9 – what a surprise, yet again I am just average – but I feel that it seems more the norm to be 6′. If I was three inches taller – wading in at 6′ I think I would benefit in three main ways which is lucky since this is how I like to write these blogs. I just need to state here that where I would like the extra three inches. I don’t want a longer body – I want it all on my legs please!

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  • Buying trousers – When I head off to the shops to buy trousers, I find that the usual ‘short’ size actually is 30″ inside leg. If I wear 30″ I have to either tuck them into my socks and cascade the excess over the top so the trousers rest on my shoes, or let them to drag along on the floor for the whole day, collecting dirt and moisture and gradually getting heavier and heavier. After shopping around, I have found that a certain shop actually makes trousers which are only 28″ in the ‘short’ size. I still get a bit of an overhang with these, but these are much more doable. If I had my three more inches, I am sure that not only would I have more choices in style, since there are very few 28″ left on the trouser racks, but also be able to shop at a range of clothing stores! It is either that or I am going to have to learn how to be a seamstress in order to lift the hemline on all my longer trousers – although I am not sure how I could stand on the chair and pin a new hem all at the same time!
  • Taller in huddles – I’m not very good at close contact. I recognise that I have a well defined area of personal space and, just so you know, I like to keep everyone firmly outside this space. Get too close and I tend to shrink away. Travelling on public transport on crowded buses are a total nightmare! Also, while stood in crowds, I get this awful feeling that people are towering above me and almost like overpowering me. Its a bit like standing in the middle of a circle of immensely tall tower blocks and they are all staring down at you and getting closer and closer (even when describing it I need to regulate my breathing in order to calm down). Now if I had three more inches, I would stand at 6′ and would not be the small fry in the group. I’m sure this would help me be more ‘level’ with the other people and not feel so intimidated – yes I know – I could also overcome this by wearing heels, carrying a small box around with me or even ensuring that I only group with people smaller than me…
  • Using less energy – I like to walk. When I say that I’m not takling about walking the across the peak district or the length or breadth of the country or even walking in the countryside – that falls definitely into the category of hiking – definitely not my thing. I like walking when, for example, I am walking to the shops, or walking to get a coffee or walking to work. I like to have a walk to the coffee shop most days and it was when I was walking back from the one on campus that I noticed something which related to desiring longer legs. Clutching my takeaway coffee I started to walk back to my office level with a tall guy with long legs. Within a few strides he was already a head of me, striding out effortlessly towards the journey endpoint. In a vain attempt to keep up and match his stride I made my little legs go faster and faster so much so that I was actually building up a sweat! I soon gave up and as the guy vanished over the horizon I suddenly realised that my short legs gave me a major disadvantage. I was actually using up more energy walking around than I would if I had longer legs! The science appears simple – longer legs = longer strides = get there quicker using less strides and therefore use less energy. No wonder I am always so tired! Due to my little legs I am actually using up more energy constantly! I have been considering buying roller skates or even a skateboard but, as you can imagine, with my coordination and lack of trendy flare, both purchases would actually end in disaster – or at least me spilling my coffee every where!
  • I am sure that there are many people reading this post who are thinking, I should consider myself lucky to be 5’9″ and I understand that completely. I’m sure that there might even be some advantages of having short legs rather than long ones, but I guess I am here on the short leg side of the fence gazing enviously over at the long leg side of the field thinking that it looks a lot greener over there! Although my legs are an issue – being not only short, but scrawny, pale and quite bony, I’m not going to embrace Cuban heels or anything similar – I’m going to continue to dream of long legs … hang on that sounded wrong. And, while we are on the topic of sounding wrong, if you thought this blog post was about adding three inches to another part of my body, then shame on you – I am completely happy with the length of my arms!

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    Have fun and I’ll catch you all later and, until then, consider yourself waffled!

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