“Speccy four eyes!!!”

I’m not sure if I have spelt that correctly, but I don’t really hear that being shouted at me nowadays. This might be because I am now working and an adult, or it might be because a while ago it suddenly seemed to become trendy to wear glasses. Although I haven’t wore glasses all my life, I am sure that I really should have done, and many a headache or sore eyes might have been averted if I had just wore them when I should have. I wear them constantly now and, although I realise that I can’t see without them, there are some real downsides to wearing glasses…

My current glasses, varied focals because I am almost blind, are quite trendy and light. This could not be said of my first pair which were the tortoise shell style from the NHS range. They came in a hard black case and I remember even at university wearing them with the door shut so when anyone arrived to see me or have a coffee with me, I would say come in, whipping them off (the glasses that is) before my friends could see me in them. As my eye sight has got gradually worse and worse, wearing them has become a necessity which I think actually amplifies the – I was going to say problems, but I guess in putting them into perspective, they are not problems just minor hiccups…

  • Moments of Blindness – Blindness is probably slightly extreme, probably blurry fogginess would be a better description. Obviously I can’t wear my glasses all the time, and these are the moments I am referring to. Waking up in the morning and turning to see the time and just seeing a green blur staring back at you. Or that moment when, while you are shaving, a text arrives and you need to find your glasses to see the message. I used to try to text back within my glasses on, but this has long since become a pointless act – unless you can actually interpret “on pm nt esu!” – auto correct tries its hardest but bless him!
  • “….trying to push them up your nose when you don’t have them on”

  • Rain and wipers – Inspector Gadget was always one of my favourite cartoons – the theme music is great and I spent many an hour actually trying to figure out whether the storage and subsequent use of the gadgets would actually be possible – yes I have always been geeky! I remember once seeing him with windscreen wipers on his glasses, clearing off the droplets of rain. I regularly walk to work, and rain and glasses are a constant pain. There is always that dilemma whether to stop and wipe the raid droplets off and risk smearing everything so you can’t see a thing, or continuing hoping that your focus will be ‘beyond’ the droplets allowing you to actually see past them. There actually comes a point – I’ve waited this long – that the droplets actually combine and start to dribble – just like rain down a window. This is when you get a wet top lip 🙁
  • Steamy and hot – Don’t get excited – this is not referring to actions which are steamy and hot, more about climates which are. Remember being at school on a Friday afternoon when it is cold and wet outside and you have been in all day? The classroom has a significantly higher ambient temperature and the windows are slowly steaming up with condensation. Well that is probably an accurate description of my glasses at times – especially when I am moving from a cold environment to that of a warmer one – i.e. entering any building when it is cold outside. You think it is not going to happen and then – swoosh! You are instantly looking through fogged up lens! You have to take them off then – instantly transporting you to those moments of blindness. You clean them, blow on them, put them on your head – all to no avail – they stubbornly remain fogged up and steamy. As I walk from the Costa at work to my office, I often have my glasses on my head because they are totally steamed up – I am in the habit of just smiling and saying morning to anyone who passes. I might appear to being ultimately friendly but really I can’t see a thing so ….sorry.
  • And finally…

  • That annoying smear… – Where do they come from? One moment I can see clearly and all of a sudden – wham! there in the middle of the lens there is a smear. Never one the top edge, never on the side, always right in the middle! Initially I just try to look pass it but it stubbornly remains there, almost adjusting itself to keep its attention known. Eventually you decide to try and clean it off with whatever you can use…the end of a tie, the bottom of your jumper, that used tissue that you have found in the depths of your pocket, and the result? The smear spreads!!!! Often I feel that it has a personal vendetta against me! Only when I actually get to the proper cleaning solution and cloth that I can eventually put pay to its domination of my lens! I do wonder whether the smears are actually working with the cleaning companies to promote their own products. Of course, and it must be mentioned here as well, there are those times when you are watching a presentation and spend a few minutes trying to locate the smear on your own glasses only to realise that it is on the projector!
  • I could go on and on about other traumas which exist with glasses – trying to rub your eye when you still have them on, trying to push them up your nose when you don’t have them on and even having to change them constantly during the summer months when you need a separate pair of sunglasses, but I think I have blogged enough for this morning. I am VERY pleased that I can actually see and for that I am very grateful. I guess, just like Spiderman, with perfect sight comes some inconvenience…was that the actual quote?

    If you would like to add your own comments about wearing glasses or even funny stories, then feel free to add them in the comments below and we can have a laugh at them together.

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