Image of a big shield

I have a size fetish!


How many sayings/phrases do you know which relates to size?

The bigger the better?
Size doesn’t matter!

Well, I am admitting right now, I have a definite size fetish. I like them big, and broad otherwise they seem to have no use to me at all! Wait a minute! I’m talking about shields!

Not what you were thinking about

If you have watched me stream Elder Scrolls Online (ESO) then you will know that I m currently trying to perfect being a tank. It is hard! I’m going to write a post about the hardships for tankship, but there is one aspect of tanks that I really like. Shields

The bigger the better!

I realise that you don’t actually need to have a shield to block in ESO but I think it an essential tank accessory. First, you need it to get one of the taunts ‘pierce armour’ from the one-handed and shield line, and secondly because they just look cool!

However, I’ve been looking at for a new shield design for my outfit and I am finding it hard. In order to illustrate my issue, I have grabbed some images of my current Bosmer Necrotic Tank. He has a different outfit at the moment but you will see his ebon armour in the following images. My current outfit looks more like some dark lord armour.

These are pathetic! The only thing I think most of them would stop in a real battle is harsh language and even that is debatable! They could be bucklers, but remember I am fashioning them on my Bosmer – so I am small. Imagine what they would look like on a strapping Nord!

Bigger the better!

But there is hope! After a significant browse through the outfitter, I managed to find some shields which would live up to both the size fetish and the need for some serious blocking.

These are the type of shields I like. They are big and serve their purpose well. My tank, Grimbark, could quite easily hanger behind these gaining some form of protection. I think the next thing which should be introduced, is the ability to add your own design to the shield or, even better, adjust the size. I wouldn’t be going for some Final Fantasy type shield, but having the option to take any design and making it as big as I want, would be welcomed.

Not only shields!

Although my main size fetish is in relation to shields I also like a good two-handed hammer (I do like two-handed axes and swords too – but not as much as hammers!). When I think of a hammer, I see a really lethal weapon. They almost appear to require no skill at all, just swing as hard as you can and make contact. The contact which is accompanied by a squelch or a dampening thud. Some of my community has directed me to some good two-handed weapons but I have yet to explore these. Given the option to alter the size of two-handed weapons, I would definitely go for the final Fantasy size option!


I have real difficulty choosing a character class to play in any game, but the appearance of weapons and armour does help me make a decision. The huge shoulders of the Orc Warlock in World of Warcraft, the two-handed hammers of the warrior priests in Warhammer. As I start to look at Guild Wars and Black Desert Online, I wonder whether I should just ignore the playing style of the classes and just go for their look and weapons. The giant shield and lance of the Valkyrie and the two-handed sword of the Awakened Warrior. What I really need is a class which has a pet, a two-handed hammer with the option of a huge shield. Give me all those in one class and I would seriously be in heaven…

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