Smiling faces and one sad one

I’m just bitter and jealous!


Being back at work actually means you will get more content. As my time is taken up with more and more activities, I become less likely to lounge around watching Miss Marple. So be prepared for a slight increase in blog posts and videos – oh and streaming!

To start the increase off, I have decided that I am a bitter and jealous person – I know it sounds dreadful but I am and I wanted to explain why.

The road to success

I have long since believed that with hard work and commitment you can achieve anything! I recognise that my body and I are past being a West End musical star or ballet dancer, but if I really wanted to fulfil my desire to tap dance and salsa, I could. I also accept very readily that success is not instant. Too often I think people assume that if they work hard for a week or so, that success will be just around the corner. I’m not one of these people.

But there is one thing which I recognise that you need for success and that is something which I know I don’t have and for which I am jealous and bitter about.

Weekly emails of success

Laptop with growth graphs on it
Image by Lalmch from Pixabay

As I browse through my emails, I am often greeted with messages of success. These are mainly from YouTube creators who focus on the impact that their ‘strategies’ can have. Subject lines like – ‘0 to 1000 subscribers in 2 weeks!’ / Youtube Success after using our strategies / 100+ subs every week!’. There are more, but these are some of the highlights.

I mainly make videos on Mythras, Anxiety and GMing. If you search YouTube for Mythras content (its an RPG btw) then hopefully you will find my content quite near the top. In fact, sometimes, the whole search will be my content. This reflects my hard work and also the limited number of content creators within this area. But what it also reflects is the limited number of people searching for this content.

I have followed scripts, read books, improved my thumbnails and even used tools like VidIQ and TubeBuddy to try to optimise my descriptions and tags. However, despite all this, my growth is as best minimal and I continue to strive to get 500 subs let alone 1000!

Have I missed the point?

Smiling faces and one sad one
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I know it is wrong, but I am jealous of other people’s success. I know they have worked hard for it and it is fantastic to celebrate it. I always congratulate them and celebrate with them but it is always swiftly followed by that feeling of disappointment in myself and that feeling of ‘what else must I do?’

I am not pleased with myself that I am bitter and jealous of other people’s success. But it makes me realise that, despite the list of strategies people have used, there are still those other elements which are needed for success.

Niche Market – If I am creating videos for a small niche market I am never going to get a multitude of followers mainly because they are not actually out there.

Personality – If people do not like my face or my age, I am not going to pull in the views. I am not good looking or attractive and my personality is not the best. There is always an ‘unknown’ quality of content creators. I recognise that I don’t really have this.

Time, Energy and Skill – Although I work hard, I do not have the ability to produce a huge amount of content. I try to produce one or two videos a week which is a push. But I don’t have those fantastic production skills or the energy to do more.

Misplaced aims

I know that I shouldn’t be creating content for fame and fortune. I do enjoy it otherwise I would not do it. But I am saying that sometimes it is possible to make a huge success with what you do but at other times the success is not reflected in 1000+ subs in two weeks or the sudden overnight increase. It is measured because one person provides you with feedback that it has made a difference. That single Like or one extra viewer.

I don’t think I will ever remove my feeling of jealousy or bitterness, mainly because I think it is ‘human nature’. Normal people might not admit it like me, but as people have learnt – I’m not normal.

Maybe, just maybe I might receive an email from the big hitters of YouTube strategy that says, quite simply, you are doing a great job and just keep going.

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